If you're new to watching me and reading is something you like to do, you'll probably want to start here:  Adventures in Cosplay - Imaginary Friends

There's plenty of other things going on in my gallery if you aren't the reading type.  If you are, there is a folder in my gallery named Scibblings.  Have fun and good luck, it gets scary in there. 

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It's 8:45 p.m. in Los Angeles and our house guests have gone home for the weekend and I'm finally done "entertaining".  For those of you following this saga over the past week or two you should know that I'm going to type this the best I can, from start to finish, in one sitting.  I mention this because it is important to know, I believe, that I still can't fully explain or appreciate everything that's happened Saturday into Sunday morning.  I'm still blown away, yes, even humbled believe it or not. 

So let's get started.  It's probably easier to start things this way, with a cast of characters:

Lissa AKA Vixen (vampire roleplay name) also my wife. Gorgeous unnatural red head, normally brunette. 
Jenn AKA Dutchess (vampire roleplay name) also my wife's live in girlfriend.  She lives in our casita / guesthouse.  Beautiful brunette. 
Erica AKA Cuddles (vampire roleplay name) a friend of my wife and Jenn.  See the Imaginary Friends story for more about her. Cute blonde. 
Rebecca AKA Anastasia (vampire roleplay name) also a friend of my wife and Jenn. Another brunette. Very attractive.  
Me AKA me.  Tall, dark, jet black hair.  No one ever gets my nationality correct.  Funny, considering I'm -just- white.  

-------------------

I've been wrestling all day with how to write this.  Ultimately it is a love story and while love stories can certainly be funny, such as your run-of-the-mill romantic comedies, I'm not sure this will have anyone rolling on the floor next to the keyboards in tears.  Yes, the girls beat me in a hundred different ways and with each "little" thing they managed to pull off I could only appreciate their cleverness and my wife's resolve to prove that I'm not as smart as I think I am. 

He will win who, prepared himself, waits to take the enemy unprepared. - Sun Tzu

My wife was taking notes apparently. All week I was running in circles as she played what might have been the greatest (and sweetest) trick and biggest surprise I've ever seen pulled off by anyone.  Deception, sleight of hand, I almost think half the things I "accidentally" overheard were completely fake conversations designed to keep my mind off of one or two simple facts about myself and my marriage at this point in time.  To give you those facts right now though (some of you already know them) would be to ruin the surprise.

We'll start where it matters, ignoring the all week buildup and the hundreds if not thousands of texts back and forth between myself, a really good friend of mine that owns the night club all this vampire roleplay happens at, and four lovely ladies.

Keep in mind,  I do not roleplay. However last weekend I was tricked into it and so begins this continuation. 

Saturday Night: Around 10 p.m.

I'd been sentenced to the computer room (which thankfully has an attached bathroom and a mini-fridge) and not allowed to come out for any reason under penalty of death.  From about 8 p.m. while the four girls began getting ready, which for some reason took up the ENTIRE rest of the house, I'd been sequestered.  I did manage to get a look at each girl in their underwear though which was a pleasant little surprise, courtesy of my hedonistic wife and her friends that think it's funny to tease a poor guy trapped in a computer room.

I knew I'd seen one of my suits make its way out the door earlier in the day and I did guess right, it was headed towards the dry cleaners.  When my wife handed it over, somewhere in the 9 p.m. hour along with the rest of my wardrobe, I was more than a little surprised to find she had one of my Brooks Brothers suits cleaned. Especially considering it was one that barely fits anymore.

Think skinny, think skinny, and pray you don't end up with a boner at some point.  My line of thought trying to squeeze into the pants. 

I promised to be a good sport after threatening to quit playing earlier in the morning. My wife convinced me that quitting on her roleplay was a bad idea. How?  Sex of course.  That was about 12 hours before this point. 

A little after 10 p.m.

"Are you dressed," I heard my wife ask through the computer room door, "We're almost ready."

"Uh yeah, if I sit down at this point I'm going to blow the ass right out of these pants.  Really, you couldn't have found a suit that actually still fits me?"

I heard my wife laugh, "I could have."

Witch!  She was doing this on purpose!  Obviously more of her psychological warfare.  Luckily the shirt, tie, and jacket fit well enough.  Just those damn pants!  My poor nuts...

"So, since when did Cuddle's imaginary friend start wearing suits?"  I asked with a sigh, still speaking through the door.

"Since he got her in trouble and broke the Masquerade," she responded back.  "Stop whining, we just need another five minutes.  Just be ready when I call for you."

I grunted. Vampires. More rules than our HOA.

PAUSE

A few things you -really- need to know.  These girls are -hardcore- roleplayers and cosplayers.  This isn't a joke to them, this is literally a lifestyle.  I've been married to this for over 10 years and I still didn't get it.  I would get it though, oh yes, I'd completely understand.  Subtle foreshadowing.

UNPAUSE

I fiddled with my watch.  I fiddled with my tie, I fiddled with my cufflinks, and I kept trying to figure out why they had me locked away in the computer room.  Obviously it had something to do with their outfits but their vampire roleplay more-or-less takes place in the 80's so I've pretty much seen it all, or so I thought.  I would realize shortly how very wrong I was, was going to be, and how my wife could still blow me completely away despite us knowing each other for almost twenty years, going back to high school.

Never underestimate the captain of the cheerleaders, especially when she's an evil vampire. 

I considered "cheating" and logging into the security system to spy on them but I'm so happy that I didn't because what was about to happen would be so epic and set the pace for the entire night, morning, next day, maybe even the next twenty years of my life.

My phone rang.  Weird.  My wife's picture popped up as the theme song to Small Wonder played - inside joke. 

"Hello?" I answered cautiously. 

"We're in the library," She said, then immediately hung up.

I immediately wondered how I should play this.  Should I go calm and cool or should I go kid-at-Christmas?  I opened the computer room door to find the dog staring up at me, wagging his tail.  Well he seemed pretty excited, I'd take my queue from him. 

I made a little detour on the way to the library to let the dog out and I noticed my wife's MacBook open and-

My dA front page staring at me.  I'd known that they had an account (or ten) they were using to keep track of my comments and posts, it wasn't some big secret.  Still, it seemed a little odd to me. 

I made my way down the hallway, my shoes tapping along on the hardwood floors.  They heard me coming from a mile away because the chatter coming from that area of the house immediately died.  All was silent.  I rounded the corner and stood in the library entrance to see the most crazy, awesome, amazing, incredible, clever, devious-

I'm getting goosebumps typing this, I'm smiling like a little kid who just got a puppy for Christmas, and I still can't believe what they managed to pull off.

My brain didn't immediately register what I was looking at.  I stood there in shock and disbelief as my brain very much short circuited the way you might see someone on a hidden camera television show as the gag or joke is played on them.  

All four realized I was speechless and stunned and they started laughing and my wife asked, "Well?"

"Are you-" I stopped, this WAS NOT happening. "Are you... White Lotus?"

My wife smiled big and wide and nodded.  Her white and purple hair all pulled up in a bun.

White Lotus played by my wife - Yep, the ENTIRE outfit, boots and all. 
Porsche played by Rebecca - In real big girl heals (sorry Cracovia, no trainers)
Renverse played by Erica - In a slightly modified but no less horrifically colored outfit.  A big fluffy skirt covered the lower half of her lingerie ensemble.

I stared at Jenn, "That's crazy!" I literally pointed at her my jaw probably completely unhinged, "Are you-"

We said it at the same time, "The Therapist."  I secretly wish that she'd been Black Mass but I get the outfit is a little over the top and impossible to design given only a week's notice.   Instead she was dressed like The Therapist in her civilian clothes.  Sexy blouse, short skirt, knee high stockings, heels.  She even had a clipboard!  I don't even KNOW WHERE YOU BUY FUCKING CLIPBOARDS THESE DAYS!!!  But the wig she was wearing... all she was missing was black face makeup, that would have been awkward. 

All four white girls were playing a different ethnicity (see also - white washing!) except for Rebecca playing Twin Turbo's Porsche (who's white).  I was still completely blown away.  BLOWN AWAY.  I almost started crying, I don't even know why.  That would have been the most gay moment in my entire life had I cried so I'm really, really happy I didn't but for a second there holy shit, was I close. 

"Wow-"

I'm rarely at a loss for words, "Wow..."

This is where it gets really meta.

My wife said, "We aren't these characters, we're us playing our vampire-selves, cosplaying your characters because we're big fans of yours."

I almost had an aneurysm trying to process that statement so I just smiled and nodded and I kept thinking of dead cats and rotten meat to keep from getting a woody.

Maggots, maggots, smooshed cats-

FAST FORWARD

10:45 p.m.

Do you know what music sounds like when you have four super-hyper and already slightly drunk women in your car as you're headed out for an extremely late dinner? 

Neither do I.  I couldn't hear anything!  Imagine every cast member of Housewives of -BLANK CITY- in your car talking at once.  DEAFENING!

FAST FORWARD

11:35 p.m.

Dinner was mostly uneventful.  There's a pretty cool café that's open extremely late near my friend's nightclub and due to all the vampire types that roll in before the 2 a.m. hour they don't exactly stare when you show up surrounded by FOUR supervillains.  Funny though, I couldn't help but notice I was dressed the way I was because I was also supposed to be a villain.  I guess I kind of looked like a pimp really, a really wealthy pimp, or a really perverted customer of a pimp that needs four hot escorts...

I think of the dumbest shit sometimes. 

FAST FORWARD

2:15 a.m.

The club closes to normal patrons at 2 a.m. and is open to members only until the sun comes up.  Brilliant little business plan my friend has going, especially if you are into World of Darkness roleplay.  Vampires, werewolves, ghosts, a demon or two I'm sure... all running around a night club until the sun rises on Sunday morning.  My wife and her friends have been doing this for years and this is the place she met her current girlfriend.

Normally I only attend once every other month or three, give or take, to help my friend with his books and some business items here and there.  My wife is a regular, going several times a month with her friends.  However, on this night I've now been in attendance twice in two weeks and three times in the last five or six weeks. 

Everyone notices, it's a tight knit crowd and they've been trying for years to suck me in.  Vampire pun intended. They are winning. 

I know this is a trap.  I know my wife and her friends have something horribly embarrassing planned for me.  I also truly believe everything to this point has been fake and I actually don't believe I'm being called to roleplay Cuddle's imaginary friend.  Something else is going on...

However, I will freely admit I did not know what the real trick was and it would be closer to 5 a.m. before the curtains would roll back and my eyes would be opened.

The theme is the 80's.  Music, feel, clothes.  They don't strictly enforce the theme but they do have a no cell phone policy and the bouncers will toss people for even looking at their phones.   

As mentioned a really good family friend owns the place and he was there to greet me. 

"You ready for this?" He doesn't roleplay either, he just has sex with half the female vamps in the place. 

"No," I confessed, "I'm fucked right?"

He laughed, "You will be if you play your cards right."

"You knew about their costumes?" I smiled, "You suck!"

He started laughing, "Yeah dude. Hey, if you fuck this up can I have sex with your wife? She's a hot fucking Asian, holy shit!"

"And you've got an Asian sized dick, sorry. You must be this big to ride." I laughed holding my hands apart, seriously over exaggerating my own manhood.

"Ass," he laughed.  "Your mom likes it."

I laughed, I would have made a mom joke back but his mom is ugly.  

"Anyway, better get into character." He pointed as Erica, AKA Cuddles the Malkavian vampire approached, "You're so fucking lucky."

"You haven't?" Fucked her, is what I meant to say, pointing to the approaching normally blonde with blue hair dye to make her look more like Renverse.

"No, her or Becca. I've tried but your wife-"

I shook my head.  Yeah, the coven leader. All the little lesbian, bisexual, and sometimes normally straight vampire girls only want to be with her, or Jenn, or both.  Men have zero chance against that type of firepower. 

"Long tongue," I shrugged,  "Fingers too. Hi Erica."

Erica, who was dressed like a cute white version of Renverse stood there staring at me. 

"Cuddles," she said with a tinge of annoyance. 

"Cuddles," I nodded as my buddy patted me in the shoulder and walked away. 

The club was already packed, the 80's music blaring, and here was white Renverse grinning at me. 

"Let's dance," she said, not even pretending I had a choice as she grabbed my hand. 

Okay.  I knew she'd be the distraction. I was sure that Erica and Becca would keep me busy while my wife and Jenn finalized whatever plan they had. I wasn't wrong. Becca slid in next to me on the dance floor and grabbed Erica, then both grabbed me and smooshed me in a vampire sandwich. Fuck, my pants!  Could they be any tighter?

Dead cats, dead dogs, unhatched baby chicken eggs, Rosie O'Donnell, liberal feminazi's with buzz cuts and cigars... 

I'd lost track of my wife and her friend somewhere in the crowd. They were up to no good and it wouldn't be long now, I thought, while being groped, molested, and bit (yes bit) by Renverse and Porsche, AKA Cuddles and Anastasia, AKA Erica and Rebecca.

They obviously were told to keep the sexy meter pegged at 10 and I wasn't going to be a grumpy-Gus and object.  Hey, this was their show, judge me if you want but getting "free feels" is pretty awesome.  Before I realized it we'd been on the dancefloor over an hour and I was worried less for all my sweating and more about the inevitable diaper rash I was going to have thanks to the tightest pants in the world.  Luckily my jacket and now my untucked shirt (thanks to two vampire girls) kind of helped with how self conscious I was about the pants, but not by a lot.

"Let's go sit down," Becca suggested as a slow song (I don't remember what it was, neither did they - I asked) began to play.

"Yeah," Erica agreed, "It's hot in here."

"Out of character?" I was basically asking permission to break character, "Who am I supposed to be tonight?"

Erica, AKA Cuddles, AKA Renverse laughed.  "You don't get it do you?"

I looked at Rebecca, AKA Porsche, then back to Erica.  "Uhhh, honestly?  No?"

"You're young you!"  She smiled big and wide.

Now if you're thinking right here that I suddenly figured out what the hell was going on?  You are SO WRONG!  I was more lost than ever at this point.  So, I did what any really normal American would do when faced with two of his fictional creations brought to life by two girls cosplaying vampires, while cosplaying your characters.  I went to sit down with them, sensing my impending doom was close at hand.  The clock inched ever closer to 4 a.m. and having the advantage of knowing the game would end at sunrise, I knew whatever trap was going to be sprung would be revealed soon.

I still couldn't see Lissa or Jenn and I had zero idea where they'd run off to or where they were hiding.  The club is decent sized, you can't see -everything- from any one point in the place and there is an upstairs, downstairs, and patio area.  I also considered they were in the business office plotting and planning something big.  Basically, I had no clue.

"How old are you?" Anastasia the Toreador vampire leaned in on my shoulder, fluttering her eyes while generally being super hot. 

The real version of me almost said, '36' but I've been roleplaying for two hours total!  I could do this, "25."

"Wow," Cuddles (Erica) pinched my cheek, "You're so cute for being so old!  25!"

I smiled awkwardly, "Yeah, 25.  Pretty crazy huh?"

Anastasia's hand was on my knee, "Do you like to party?"

"Drugs?" I laughed, "Sorry, wrong 25 year old.  Not my thing."

"Religious? I like that!" Cuddles moved her hand up my shoulder and her lips were -this- close to my ear.

"No, not religious.  I like money, I don't like giving my money away to scum bags and allowing them to have more money than me."

"Right winger!" Anastasia bit my opposite ear, I think.  It's all a little fuzzy because so many things happened so quickly.

"No," I shook my head.  Then I remembered, I was getting the hang of this, "Do I like Reagan?  Yes, yes I do.  Do I hate communists and liberals?  Yes, I do.  Do I like money?  Yes, I do.  Fuck Jimmy Carter!"

If you remember from the last story there's a certain courtesy you extend to vampire roleplayers when they move to bite you.  Play along, don't protest, act like you're turned on-

Double bit!  One on each side of my neck, ears, plastic fangs scratched playfully and pinched.  I was being double penetrated (on my neck!) by vampires!  Turned on?  Yes. I felt like I was drowning in a sea of crazy and that was going to be alright with me.

What I didn't notice is that there was no music playing.  Perfect distraction.

"Princes and princesses of the night," The DJ announced, "may I have your attention, your Prince would like to say a few things."

What a buzz kill!  The girls -immediately- stopped their assault and I was left there staring at the DJ and the "Prince" of the city.  Biker looking guy, kind of scruffy looking, like a scumbag.  Brujah vampire, or so I've come to understand.

Then I saw my wife and her girlfriend standing next to him.  This was it.  The hangman had his noose around my neck (even though it felt like it was around my balls, WHY WERE THESE PANTS SO TIGHT!) and whatever erection might have been there a few seconds ago was long, long gone.

Taking the mic, Prince Albert (yes, he's Prince Albert), "There is one among you who must answer to several charges."  He was looking right at me, "A mere human, married to a vampire.  A vampire that he tried to kill!"

BOOS!  THEY BOOED ME!  Everyone.  God, I felt like a villain at a bad wrestling show.

"He didn't try to just kill one of us, no.  What's worse, he tried to kill two other vampires at the same time!"

Well shit, throw the book at a guy.  Too late for a plea-bargain?  I thought of a certain bondage loving lawyer I know here on dA.  Weird, yep.

"Come forward, human."  He pointed right at me and as if ON QUEUE, because this was -definitely- planned Erica and Becca grabbed my arms and we exited the booth.

Now, I'm a good sport and I did promise to play nice and I'm a pretty good showman and public speaker myself.  I didn't smile, I didn't object, I just took center stage on the dance floor in front of the DJ booth where this biker vampire and my wife and her girlfriend loomed over me, silently judging my really tight pants. 

"How do you plead?" He asked.

I looked at my wife, I looked at Jenn, I looked left and right to Erica and Becca.  I saw vampire versions of White Lotus, The Therapist, Renverse, and Porsche.  This was pretty awesome actually, if I'm going to be completely honest.

"Do your worst bloodsucker!" I raised a fist, "FREEEEEEEEDOM!"

Now, typically my wife would stay in character and not even crack a smile but she started laughing, which made biker Prince laugh, which made Jenn, Erica, and Becca laugh.  I however, was not amused or impressed in the slightest, because I WAS IN CHARACTER!

"THAT'S RIGHT YOU BLOOD SUCKING DIRT BAGS!  FUCK YOU ALL AND BURN IN HELL!" I screamed.

Well, they weren't laughing anymore.  Were they?  No, no they weren't.

Mic in hand, the Prince asked.  "Before I sentence you, your wife Vixen has a question."

I sneered, I kind of felt like she was a traitor.  Maybe I was too into character, I don't know!  "Get it over with!"  Yep, I said that.  Like a boss!

Lissa took the microphone, "How did you do it?" She looked at me smiling, but something was off.  Something really weird.  I know her too well, that smile-

"How did I do what?" I challenged loudly.

"How did you," Her voice lowered, just a little.  This was the stinger, the trap.  Here it was, the big joke!  I prepared myself for the worst, "How did you get a vampire pregnant?"

Even typing that, I can't describe the electrical short circuit that took place between my brain and my mouth.  My cognitive functions were extremely impaired like someone who'd just been hit by lightning and I'd had maybe one drink the entire night.  I felt like I was going to throw up.

"How-what?" I looked around completely confused, "WHAT?"

REWIND

IVF - Very expensive, especially when you are doing it for over a year.  My wife could not get pregnant.  We were on the verge of going to England just to have any chance of her having a child of our own.  They did manage to fertilize a few eggs that made it to the implant stage over the last year but miscarriages, body rejections, nothing seemed to work.  My wife was convinced that God was punishing her for having an abortion (yes, she let me include this - she'll be editing this for content anyway!) a long time ago before we were together again after college.  No it wasn't mine, the result of a sexual assault or as I so eloquently put it - a humiliation baby.

Thank God her sense of humor is way darker than mine.  You like puns?  The unborn rape cells had big aspirations, but alas, it wasn't meant to be.  In addition they kept trying to multiply, but she divided to subtract them instead!

BACK TO SATURDAY NIGHT

I almost started crying, if not for my complete confusion I probably would have, manly alpha-male type A personality aside, "You're pregnant?  Are you pregnant?" I was frozen in place.  I wish I could say I was romantic enough or thinking enough to run over and embrace her but I just stood there like an idiot.

"Not me," she shook her head.

WHAT?  "WHAT?" WHAT? - No way.  This wasn't happening!  "Who-what?  I've never- WHAT?"

I've -never- done anything without her permission, ever, and if anything happened she was there and I never, ever, ever-  I was about to kill a vampire, whichever bitch lied to my wife.  I pulled away from Cuddles and Anastasia and stared at Jenn, figuring she was to blame.  Apparently my body language completely changed and I looked mean or something because the bouncers were a lot closer to me than I remember them being moments before.

"Babe, babe.  It's okay!" My wife pleaded, I think, into the microphone.  To be honest, she had to tell me today that's what she said because I just remember seeing the color red.

"Shhhh, it's okay." Cuddles grabbed my hand, "Seriously, it's okay."

Becca had her hand on my shoulder, according to the girls at this point because again, I don't remember a whole lot about those forty five seconds.

REWIND

"Babe, I need you to sign these." My wife said as she handed over a stack of crap I didn't want to look at.  More IVF, more checks, more legal paperwork.  Sign, sign, sign.  More money.  Lots more.

I looked up smiling, "Okay hun, it will work, I promise."

"I know," She said as she kissed me, "I know."

I stopped going to appointments except the appointments that required my "donations" because I was discouraged and I felt like I was just throwing money away on voodoo magic.  Did you know according to our doctor that I was the only person EVER to ask if his wife could help him make "deposits"?  Is that crazy?  Why would I jerk off when I can have her do it for me?  Anyway, we were warned about oral sex, saliva was bad... and she'd have to wear gloves.  We played nurse and patient for over a year, now that's roleplay!

BACK TO SATURDAY NIGHT

I was still staring daggers of hatred at Jenn, Dutchess, The Therapist.  There was going to be one less person living in my casita come the morning, I knew -that- to be true. 

"It's not her," My wife said into the mic and stepped down from the DJ booth, "Surprise, you're going to be a father." She was smiling and crying and I was so fucking confused I didn't know what the hell she was even saying.  I probably looked like the special kid they stick in the outfield and tell the other kids not to hit balls to. 

"It's not Jenn?" I shook my head, "I don't understand."

"We need a younger body," she said so casually as she directed my head towards Cuddles, "My egg, your sperm, her body."  

Cuddles was crying.  My eyes were watering.  I just stared for about thirty seconds, "How long?"

Suddenly her outfit made sense, Renverse in a big fluffy skirt. So did the 80's getup the week before.  She was hiding a little pouch.  "Three months."  My wife said. 

I'm pretty sure the entire place was crying, or something, because not a single person made a single sound.  I could hear my heart beating in my ears, that's how quiet it was. 

"Is it-" I wiped my eyes.

She nodded, "... a boy.  Just like we wanted."  Yes, IVF can make sure you have boys.  Take that girls!

She grabbed Cuddles, I grabbed my wife, I'm pretty sure Jenn grabbed me and Becca was in there somewhere as my buddy, the club owner got in on the big hugfest.

Forever Young by Alphaville began to play because you know, this was a production after all.  "How did you?" I asked my wife in the pile of bodies. 

"Those papers you signed a few months ago...  We have to see the lawyer, there's some more things we'll need to sign and notarize."  I'm still not entirely convinced this whole thing was legal and by the books but hey, when you've got money you can make things happen, first world problems my aching nuts in tight pants!  I'm also PRETTY SURE she got my parents, her parents, and the family lawyer involved because yesterday was a flurry of crazy phone calls (after I managed to wake up).  We probably all broke a law or two.

"But we agreed," I was kind of blubbering at this point, I think.  I was going to mention something about adoption if she couldn't carry or if her egg quality was bad.

You know, I saw my wife I think for the first time maybe in years.  Really saw her, her vulnerability, the hurt and joy in her eyes.  Beautiful.  Crying.  Smiling.  Our foreheads pressed together.

"We aren't young anymore," she sobbed, "I don't want to get old.  That's what this is, me not getting old.  I just want to be young again."  Ah, vampire roleplay.  DUMMY!  Worst husband ever.  Right here.

My wife.  The fan of every 80's romance movie ever.  16 Candles, Pretty In Pink, Heathers, Empire Strikes Back.  Okay, Empire Strikes Back is my favorite romantic movie from the 80's, but still.  She needed her Can't Buy Me Love ending and yes, she won.  She won big.  And the winner deserved a big prize.

I turned to Cuddles, "So this imaginary friend thing, you were interviewing me right?"

She smiled, showing me her plastic vampire fangs.  I reached up, whispered -thank you- and proceeded to pluck those vampire fangs right out of her mouth.

I then turned to my wife, plopped those stupid slobber covered fangs in my mouth and grinned.  "We are young again!" I shouted, "We're vampires!  Vampires don't cry!'

I then grabbed my wife, Vixen, and White Lotus because they were all the same person anyway and threw her over my shoulder. 

I marched off towards the business office with my prize, smacking her fine ass the whole way.  We might have had an audience too, from what I was told.  But hey, young people like showing off, right?