CHAPTER 9

It kind of felt wrong but, Nate wondered to himself, how could he not look? What was it about Florida? Orlando International was nowhere near the beach so why were so many girls wearing bathing suits? It wasn’t even summer yet! Nate had just flown in from Philly, where they were talking about a chance of snow tonight. Everybody had told him, particularly his mother, that he wasn’t dressed warm enough. He told them all that he was headed to the sunshine state where it was sure to be warmer. It wasn’t just warmer, he was sweating!

He was also constantly having to pry his eyes away from all those young little things in skimpy clothing. Nate felt guilty every time he looked but, damn, it was just not in his nature! Why were they in an airport, dressed like that! Nate could not keep thinking about it and he just kept diving deeper into guilt. He was pushing thirty now and, sooner or later, he needed to act like an adult, of course, that time would have to be right after the girl in the pink thing walked by. It was obviously designed to save on fabric. Had to be that wartime economy thing! He didn’t need to look!

No, it was wrong to look. He was here to meet the mother of his deceased, almost, girlfriend. The very same one that would have cost him his career had he not used the ‘almost’ part. This was the very same girl that had jumped his bones on a church floor, in another reality. Nate had to stand up from the waiting bench he had been sitting on. This whole thing was just too crazy. Again, like since that night, Nate had been constantly asking himself if he loved that girl or, were they just two comrades in arms. They shared a bond and Nate was not willing to dispute that. He just didn’t know what that bond was. Something just didn’t feel right.

It was during the pacing that Nate looked up at the ceiling. He was in a little square of benches for departing passengers who had already recovered their luggage. There was a little TV in every one of these cubicles but, the noise of the terminal was so much, and the TV volume was so low, that there wasn’t much point in watching it. Still, it was tuned to the news and they always had those scroll bars. Nate caught a glimpse of one story rolling across it. Did it say what he thought it said?

Nate jumped up on the seat and manually hit the volume on the television. A cop in the terminal saw him and commanded him to get down. At least it wasn’t TSA with rubber gloves. Since that plan collapsed, he walked down the terminal till he found a lounge. There was a television over the bar, so, Nate sat down, ordered a soft drink, and watched until the story, that he had been looking for, finally came up.

Some woman, in a rain coat, who must have been cold and wet in DC right now, was standing in front of the Pentagon saying, “has confirmed with White House sources, that a US soldier that was listed as Killed In Action, over a year ago, has been found in northern Feyland.”

Nate realized, right off the bat, that it could be anybody they were talking about. Angie wasn’t listed as killed, only missing but, the way that whole operation went down and fell apart, who could rightly tell? Just the fact that this person was alive meant somebody in the army really screwed the pooch on this one. The time frame was certainly right, there was hope!

Nate practically bounced on the barstool and said with a triumphant growl, “YES!” Then he saw the bartender. She had a funny look on her face and Nate explained by pointing to the television, “might be a friend of mine.”

The bartender gave him a strange look. She then glanced down to his drink and Nate could read her face, “I thought that was only coke.” Nate lifted up the glass and said, “want to sniff it?” She almost did.

It was a good thing the bartender did not. Nate heard a squealing animal that sounded like it was being strangled, while calling out his name. He turned to see who was calling him and some young, brown headed girl ran up to him and threw her arms around his chest. She squeezed tight, did not want to let go, and then finally broke while catching her breath. Then the girl composed herself and said, “you’re Nate Caldwell, right? My sister’s boyfriend?”

“Uh,” now the girl had put him on the spot. Nate had planned on saying he was her commanding officer. This little girl looked too enthused about it though. So Nate just went on the offensive, “you’re Sara, right?”

She began bouncing again and her face was practically glowing, “that would be me! Did you just hear the news? Course you did, that’s how I found you, I was looking up and down the terminal and then I heard this…”

Nate reached out and put his hands on her shoulder, “I figured. It’s great news.” Then a more practical question occurred, “are you old enough to drive?”

Sara became confused, “yeah? I’m seventeen.”

Of course, driving and driving safely were two entirely separate things. Besides the weather, the other thing that caught Nate off guard was the traffic down here. Orlando was worse than Philly despite the fact that Orlando had good roads! Nate was not so sure he’d want to drive in this traffic, which meant, he had no real desire to see a seventeen year old girl do it. Yet she was managing, sort of. She definitely needed some work on her lane changing skills, most specifically, on her choice of words that she often called the other drivers.

In between honks and swear words, Sara just kept right on blabbering, “why didn’t they just say who it was? I can’t take this. Do you have any idea how long…”

“They wanted to wait to notify the family first,” Nate told the little girl. “Not the kind of thing you want to find out on television. I suspect, there’s a whole lot of families out there right now, holding their breath, same as you and me.”

“I hate this,” Sara then shifted gears while screaming, “jack ass!” She then went right back to light and bouncy, “I don’t know if I can take it, Nate. I can call you that, right?”

“I don’t see why not,” Nate replied. He was trying not to act nervous. “I’m having a bit of difficulty with it myself.”

“How did you two meet,” Sara just blurted out.

How did Nate answer that question? He was her boss and, technically speaking, he was kind of her boss’s, boss’s, boss, with a few more big chiefs in between. The army had lots of that going on and it was not easy to explain it to a civilian. Nate had never even noticed Angie before that day when their chopper got blown out of the sky. He thought about it for a minute and then, couldn’t help himself, he almost cried but, he laughed too.

Sara noticed, “I’m sorry Nate. I didn’t mean…”

“No,” Nate waived it off, “it’s ok.” He composed himself, “I accidentally jumped on her one day.”

That bewildered the seventeen year old, “how did that happened?”

“Oh,” Nate told her. “There was a helicopter falling on my head.” That bewildered her even more but, Nate kept right on going, “I kind of wasn’t watching where I was going, for obvious reasons. Anyway, I get off her, and she slaps me hard and called me a fucker.” Only after he said that last word did Nate realize that, maybe, he should not have.

Then Sara burst out laughing, “that’s my sister, all right.” Soon, Sara’s laughter also produced a tear. There was no real crying but, Nate did see her push one genuine sob back after she got out of the car in her mother’s driveway. Then she introduced him to the house.

Nate remembered seeing this place, just a glimpse of it, on television not long after he got back. He had been shocked to find out that Angela had turned into a genuine celebrity while she was gone. Nate had no idea how that happened but, he had also ceased caring about it. His fears had been that everybody would come running his way, shoving camera’s in his face, particularly after Patty had filed some of her stories. Fortunately, none of it ever happened.

The one thing that confused Nate was all the cars sitting on the curb, in the driveway, and around the house. From the looks of the home, Nate could not imagine that the Thompson’s were any better off than his folks. That’s why he could not figure on all these cars belonging to just one single mother and her teenage daughter. Maybe these people were here because of the news story?

Once inside the house that did not prove to be the case. While this house was certainly wider than his folks, and most houses down here seemed to be that, Nate did not think it had much more square footage and, yet, the living room looked more like a sloppy office than anything else. There were little fold out tables, stacks of papers, a few printers that were doubling as copy machines, and a fleet of laptops sitting nearly everywhere that you could put one. There were plenty of people to go right along with it.

There was also this guy who was probably the only one in the place that was wearing a suit. Since Nate had touched down in Florida, given what he had seen, he figured this man had to be the owner of one third of all neck ties in the entire state. He sort of reminded Nate of a used car salesman by the way he moved and that was saying something since that is exactly what Nate did for a living. The thing about that was, this guy didn’t seem to realize it, because, when he reached for a shake he said, “Captain Caldwell, good to finally meet you.”

“Not Captain anymore,” Nate replied as he finished the shake. Then he noted, “and I’m figuring here, that you aren’t Dana Thompson.”

A lady with shoulder length, brown hair, probably in her mid fifties, came strolling in from the kitchen, with Sara right behind her. The teen was jabbering away as the girl was prone to doing. The lady looked busy, was carrying a sandwich tray in her hand, and just after she sat it down for the ‘office workers’ she smiled at Nate and said, “no, that would be me.” Then the woman took a second to look Nate over from head to toe. She smiled again and Nate took that as a good sign.

She introduced the suit as, “this is Clancy Oldham. He used to be my congressman and, now, he’s my lawyer. He’s helping us out here.”

“Uh,” Nate looked around, “you do seem a might busy Miss Thompson.”

“Dana,” she told him, “call me Dana.”

Before Nate could stumble over his next words, Oldham said, “I was just telling Nate here that…”

Dana never took her eyes off of Nate while she told Oldham, “not now Clancy. I have some things to take care of.” She reached out and gently took Nate’s arm, leading him through the mayhem that was her home, and out of the back, sliding glass, doors. Nate found the back yard somewhat unkempt compared to his parents but, the grass was cut and it was, more or less, clean. There was a rusted out swing set that, otherwise, looked sturdy. Dana sat down on one of the swings and offered the other to Nate. He declined because he knew he wouldn’t fit, without even trying. He leaned against the railing instead.

Dana was slightly rocking in the swing, looking off into space, and she seemed almost at peace. Then she took a quick peek at Nate and said, “I can see why she liked you.”

“I,” what did you say to that? “I… um.”

That made Dana giggle, “you don’t have a clue what to say, do you?”

“Yes,” Nate shook his head in the affirmative, “I am at a complete loss for words here.”

“She thought it was cute,” Dana told him. “She wrote several letters before… the end. None of them got too me until after. Then she had that little journal. I think she fell in love with you long before you went to that embassy place. She never said it, mind you, it’s just that when you look at a letter and three of the five pages are all about this one guy, it’s kind of hard to make anything else out of it.”

“Really? Three out of five pages?” Nate was stunned. He bowed his head and he said, “Misses Thompson. Your daughter meant a lot to me, really she did. It’s just…”

Dana caught one break in many as Nate stumbled over his own words, “you loved her too Nate. You would have never gotten on a plane and flown all the way from Pennsylvania if you didn’t.”

Nate offered up, “guilt? There’s also that.”

Dana told him, “we all feel that.” When Nate said nothing else, Dana stood up and then took him by the arm. She led him around the back yard, almost in a small loop, as she told him, “I’ll be honest with you Nate. I did some checking up on you. Not really even intentionally. Angie’s friend, that lady on TV, she called me several months ago. She told me all about that night. She told me about you. At first, I wondered, what kind of man you must be. I didn’t even get an email from you.”

Again, what did you say to that? All Nate could think of was, “I’m sorry. I really wanted too and…”

“I knew there were only two reasons,” Dana told him. “You either didn’t care or, you cared too much. That’s when I found out about you leaving the army, selling cars, living at home. I can’t imagine how you must feel. The pain you’re experiencing.” When Nate tried to say something Dana held up a finger for him to stop and then she said, “don’t deny it Nate. I see it written all over your face. You are still not over her, are you?”

Damn! Now Nate understood where Angie got it from. He stopped walking, looked around the small yard, and then he told her, “um, well, you see, no, not really.”

“Angie didn’t say anything directly,” Dana admitted, “but I could tell by the way she talked about you. You’re just someone who has a hard time expressing your feelings. Am I right?”

“Well,” Nate back pedaled, “actually, um, I never thought about it to be honest.”

Dana smiled again and this time she actually seemed amused, “yes you are definitely my daughters type. I just wish it had been her bringing you home instead of Sara. That would have been one of the happiest moments of my life. I just want you to know that Nate. I think Angela did pretty good finding you.”
The first part was easy enough for Nate to answer, “me too. I mean, about her, you know, Angela bringing me home. I think that would have been just fine.”

Dana laughed even more. Then she ushered Nate back towards the house, “first, we’ll take you to dinner. My house has been an absolute wreck since the service. I’ve been too busy to clean. Then we’ll get you set up with a place to stay for now. Don’t worry, we can afford a pretty descent hotel, even here in Orlando.”

Now Nate was confused but, it was confusion like this that he could handle, “I don’t understand. What are you doing here? The letter I got was from some media service or, something like that. I mean, if you don’t mind me asking that is.”

“Why would I mind Nate,” Dana told him cheerfully. “I want you to ask, because, I want you to be a part of it.”

Nate blinked, “of what exactly?”

They stopped at the sliding glass doors. Nate could see that weasel of a former congressman sitting in there on the couch. He was trying to look like he was not looking. Apparently, Dana noticed him too because she said, “don’t worry about Clancy. I can handle him just fine. I know he has his own agenda but, as long as it helps me get what I want, I’ll keep him.”

“Agenda?” Nate was past being really confused, “what is it that you want?”

“I’m hoping, it’s the same thing you do,” Dana told him firmly, “I don’t want my daughter to have died for nothing. I want it to mean something, Nate. I want my child to be remembered and, more important, I don’t want anybody else to have to feel the pain that I feel, every single day. Every single day, Nate, when I wake up and I see that picture on my end table, I spend an hour crying. I… I, feel like I can‘t even move. I just yearn for that one thing to fill that hole and then I have to face the day, knowing, it‘s never going to happen, my little girl is never coming home. My little girl is never going to grow up. She‘s never going to get married! She‘s never going to give me grandchildren, have the joy of seeing those kids grow up. Do you know what that feels like? I think you do.”

He could suddenly see the pain in her eyes. Had she been hiding it? Did it just come and go? Nate was not sure about Dana Thompson but, he did know his own pain. It never went away. It never seemed to be as strong as in her but, it was a steady and dull grinding presence. Nate was not sure which was worse.

Dana almost broke down in tears but, her youngest daughter rescued her from that when she opened up the sliding door and said, “Mom, they just said they got that name of the soldier they found!”

It almost reminded Nate of people gathering to watch the lottery drawing. He supposed it wasn’t too different only, this was life or death. Everyone in that living room was watching that television. Most of them were holding hands. Nate could see the anticipation in their faces. He saw how Dana was kneeling at the television with both hands up on her right shoulder, squeezing the hand of her youngest daughter Sara, who was standing right behind her. Their eyes were glued to the television and Sara kept bouncing. She was even smiling.

Then, everyone began to hush everyone else when the news anchor came on the screen and said, “to recap, the Pentagon has just confirmed the name of the rescued soldier, she is…”

When Nate heard the ‘she’ part his hopes soared.

The anchor continued, “…is twenty-six year old, First Lieutenant, Nicole Sayers of Colorado Springs, Colorado. She was listed as killed in action during the fighting in Operation Golden Straw, last year, in the area of the Feyland Empire, known as the Hurtegan Forest. We have been told that she was a graduate of West Point and….”

Sara broke down crying and ran to her room. Her mother, Dana, never moved. She collapsed where she was, in front of the television.