CHAPTER 37

There was an old saying that Bob remembered after he stepped off the helicopter and began running towards his tent city. It was an easy saying to remember because of all the frequent reminders and that included this very minute. It went, “it doesn’t rain in the army. It rains on the army.” At the moment it was also raining on Seau-Neaut IAFB. Having spent half his career getting rained on, Bob figured he should have been immune to all of it at this point but, he found out he was sorely mistaken. When he and Conner stopped just inside the hangar door, there was no getting around the very indignant act of slinging off a virtual ocean of moisture.

Someone handed Bob a towel and, after he figured he was as dry as he was ever going to get, it was somehow not enough. Bob looked back out the hangar door, past his sentries, and made another strange discovery. That was why he elbowed Phil and pointed out, “is that really purple rain?”

“No,” how did Phil always keep the same demeanor? He was as monotone as ever and the guy was shaking off purple rain. “Remember the atmospherics boss, water is water. This planet has an almost permanent aurora borealis, that’s why the sky, the sea, they all look like they’re right out of an acid trip half the time.”

Bob just thought it looked neat so he told his Major, “thank you Doctor Phil.”

Somehow Phil missed the sarcasm or he was still being a smart ass because he took the compliment literally, “you’re welcome sir. Not what we came to see though.”

Sergeant Major Price had a detail that was guarding what they came to see. He also had a certain captain with him and she looked like a girl waiting for her prom night date. In fact, Bob was starting to wonder if someone had not surgically installed that shit eating grin on her face. Given his current mood, after just having had this planet piss on him once more, this time literally, he was not so sure he could take a smile right now. Bob returned the salute anyway and told his company commander, “good work captain, I think.”

Bruce Arbuckle was busy hovering over the straw filled crate and snapping one picture after another with a small camera. He was also smiling, “I’d say we just hit the jackpot here colonel.”

Phil Conner was a bit confused so he asked, “Bruce, I thought NSA was only interested in sigtel, you know, electronic intelligence.”

“Trust me Phil,” Bruce replied, “I’ve been working for them for the better part of two decades now. There isn’t much intelligence there, of any kind. Besides,” he gestured to his camera, “this qualifies as electronic, right?”

Bob looked down in the crate and remarked, “well I figure you should do something here Arbuckle, cause up till now, I haven’t seen you do jack shit.” He then pointed down at the two oblong objects in the crate. They had a leathery looking surface and were covered with some kind of snotty looking substance, “is this really what we think it is?”

“Plural,” Arbuckle replied, “are they really what we think they are? That’s what you meant to say colonel.”

“I didn’t come here to write a book Arbuckle,” Bob shot back with no small amount of bite in his tone. “Are they eggs or not?”

Bruce snapped another picture and then said, “how the hell should I know? I’ve never seen one before and, as far as I know, outside the Orcish-American community, I don’t think anybody else has either.”

Bob looked to Katie Mack and asked her, “did the elves see it?”

“Them,” Arbuckle mumbled.

Lenny Price actually answered for the Captain, “couldn’t be helped, sir.”

“I figured,” Bob told the Sergeant Major and then looked back to Mack, “since that couldn’t be helped, did we get any useful intel from our advisor?”

Katie went from smiling to nervous, “that’s the funny part sir. He saw them all right. Hell, he even helped me pull the out of that tree. Those were the only two we could get at and, besides, I kind of tossed in a grenade before me and…”

“I get it Captain,” Bob told her, “you did the right thing. You’re more important that this.”

Arbuckle mumbled, “these.”

Bob ignored him and continued, “what did he think they were? They have to know, don’t they?”

“No sir,” Katie replied, “that’s not what I mean. It’s…”

Phil Conner asked in his usual monotone, “what is it Katie?”

“The grenade,” Katie told them, “it didn’t look like it damaged any of them. The little bastards are tough. We were lucky to get those two. That snot like stuff, it had hardened over the other ones and they wouldn’t budge.”

That bit of information was interesting. Bob even realized it might be critical to somebody. It was still not the question he asked and he pointed that out. Katie just shrugged and said, “if he knew he wasn’t talking. I think, sir, that,”

“Spit it out Captain,” Sergeant Major Price said.

“I think,” Katie finally admitted, “he knew and didn’t want to say. He sure as hell wasn’t very talkative on the way back here.”

Bob rubbed at his chin and he thought about it, “where’s Captain Chjolani at now?”

Price said, “reporting in with his people.” Bob got a very serious look on his face and the Sergeant Major knew what was going on in Bob’s mind. Lenny just told him, “we couldn’t very well stop him sir. That’s a part of our agreement with them.”

Katie spoke out of turn but, did not catch herself until it was too late, “why would they care if…”

“Not important now,” Bob spoke up stopping all the chatter that was building. He then looked to Arbuckle, “get this thing out of here.” Arbuckle was about to say something as he pointed down at the possible eggs but, Bob cut him off and snapped, “and I’m talking about the crate, not what’s inside so if you correct my grammar one more time I’m going to shove plural objects up your ass.”

Bruce took the hint and said in a confident tone, “I’ll have it back at Coven Hill just as fast as we can get it down to the temple.”

Lenny Price looked to the colonel and asked, “sir, the main question now is, are we opscomp? This is, afterall, what we came here for, is it not?”

Phil was a little more specific, “to the point here, do we go ahead and abandon Nottakay? I’m of the opinion that the safest way to defend that place is not be there.”

That was a serious question and one that Bob did not really have an answer for just yet. There were too many issues that were not quite resolved. Bob decided to point out to everyone, “we’re not opscomp just yet. This is a good catch but, this isn’t really what we came here for, is it?”

Lenny let out a deep breath and replied, “speaking for General Garret, I’d say Golden Straw has achieved it’s objectives, sir.”

Bob replied, “we were supposed to bring back live prisoners Lenny.” He then gestured to the crate, “do you really think a couple of Orc abortions can tell us anything? That is, assuming that we actually have that.”

The sergeant major simply shrugged, “sir, even if we had an Orc general, I’m not sure they could tell us any more. Let’s say we got damn lucky and found a, maybe, say an Orc turncoat or something like that, one that wanted to cooperate with us. We don’t know how to talk to them and they don’t know how to talk to us. How are we going ask it any questions? How is it going to answer us?”

Conner told the Garret’s go to guy, “somebody has to know Sergeant Major. Why else have we been out there?”

Price had that answer, “Major, I was under the impression that they were more interested in what the enemy biology could tell us. If that’s the case then we got everything we need right there in that crate.”

“Doesn’t matter anyway,” Bob told everybody. “The weather is too lousy right now. We couldn’t do a battalion sized airlift, even if we wanted too. That’s not to mention we’d need the help of the IAF too, and as you all know, that takes a few days just to convince them to consider the request.”

“So that’s our play?” Phil had a hint of displeasure that cracked out of his usual unassuming self, “we send that home and it’s business as usual?”

“Major,” Bob told him, “our job isn’t really over until this crate is inside the territorial boundaries of the United States. Even then, there’s no guarantee that we won’t have another job waiting for us in some bin down at the embassy, so, yeah, for now, it’s business as usual. I’ll head down south with the crate. I need to talk this over with General Garret before we do anything else.”

Before leaving, Bob squared off with his captain. She took the cue and went to the position of attention as Bob told her, “Captain Katherine R Mack, congratulations. You have done this task force, the rangers, and the US Army proud.”

Katie wanted to giggle again, “thank you colonel.”

Bob added, “because you displayed the highest level of stupidity that is expected in an army officer.” Her smile turned to confusion and Bob wanted to laugh at the poor girl. He dropped his colonel routine and told the young girl, “going in that tree, like that, was stupid Katie. Do me a personal favor and don’t get yourself killed, ok? Your old man would kick my ass if you did.”
Katie saluted, “yes sir. I will endeavor to continue my breathing habit, sir!”

“Seriously,” Bob slapped her on the arm, “good work kiddo.” He walked off with the Sergeant Major and Arbuckle in tow.

Katie drifted away from the crate and wound up standing next to Phil. They watched the party leaving the hangar. They were also out of earshot of the guards so Katie asked, “what’s gotten into him? When he first came in, I thought he was going to bite everybody’s head off and now he’s joking?”

Phil snorted a laugh and then replied, “when he first came in, I think he was still a little miffed that we lost eight people for those eggs over there.”

Katie only shrugged, “so was I.” They stood there for a minute longer and then Katie broke the silence, “is it just me or has he been.. You know?”

“Glowing?” Phil wanted to laugh. “Ever since he got back from that Cinderella’s Ball thing he went to. There’s a pool going and, right now, the odds are running five to one that he got laid.”

Katie nodded and replied, “I’m in for twenty.” Katie then reconsidered it, “on second thought, no, make it forty.”