CHAPTER 5

At least the bus ride had been comfortable. Phil Conner was not so surprised that the comfort thing would not last. Once they were outside the Elf counterpart building, what they almost universally referred too as the “Temple,” there were trucks waiting for them. These vehicles looked very much like older model US two and a half ton haulers that had long since been retired from service. Phil remembered them from his early days and he could not say that he was looking forward to riding in another one. At least, this time, he got to sit up front with a driver. The guy proved to be human and, more important, he was an RAF sergeant by the name of Mills.

During the ride, Phil took a chance to question the guy and, the Sergeant proved to be somewhat evasive with his answers. It was not like the kid was trying to lie, he just did not seem to know how to answer. Phil gave up with the business like questions and pointed out the very spectacular view in the sky. Phil was kind of surprised at how this kid did not even notice it. How could that be possible? Phil was captivated by what was, unquestionably, a huge planet that was sitting real close to the one he was now on. It was plainly visible, in day light, filled with colorful bands of gas, and easily larger, in the sky at least, than the moon back home.

This led to the most basic of questions and Phil could not help but ask, “are they sure we didn’t just go to another planet? I mean I…”

Mills simply replied, “yes sir. You’ll get all your in country briefs when you get to the base. The short of it though, some time ago they studied the sun here and then compared it to the one back home. I guess they kind of proved, conclusively, that they’re actually the same star.”

That made no sense to Phil, “how could they know that?”

“Oh,” Mills forgot to mention that part, “they compared the sun spots and it appeared as if they’re identical in both universes.”

“You say universes,” Phil told the Sergeant, “sure this isn’t like another dimension or something? They were never really clear about that on the television, back home.”

That was an understatement. They were never really clear about a lot of things. That made for an interesting contrast too. Phil noted at how Mills took all of this stuff for granted, “Major, I’m not a physicist so I don’t really have a clue. I just know what little they tell me. I would have suspected they would have told an officer, such as yourself, a lot more than a working bloke like me.”

“You can suspect,” Phil said in jest. It was obvious that Mills lacked a sense of humor. Phil just dropped it and looked at the long flat landscape around him. As far as he could see there was field after field, partially flooded, and being worked by some very interesting looking things. Phil had to wonder what was animal and what was not here. At one point, he got close enough to see a hairy looking ape thing that he would have figured for wild life, only it was wearing clothes! It also jumped up on what could only be described as a unicorn, and then it road off down a dirt path in between the irrigated fields. Phil looked for a reaction from Mills but, the guy did not even notice. Phil was sure glad he was not driving.

This fantasy world was proving to be quite oppressive on Phil’s senses. He was actually somewhat relieved to see what was a very mundane looking gate, with very mundane looking RAF guards at it. The signs that led up to the gate, and on the wire itself, were all written in English. It was yet another small bit of comfort. The truck stopped at the check point and Mills talked with the guards. Several fanned out down the convoy to check the backs of the vehicles. The one that stayed with Mills, acted amused. He kept looking to Phil and finally the guy just asked, “see something strange, there, Major?”

Phil almost laughed along with the guy, “does it show?”

“Don’t let it worry you none, Major,” the guard replied. “You get used too it after a while.” Apparently the other guards were satisfied with their inspection because the one up front slapped the door and jumped down as he yelled out, “all right get these vehicles off my road!”

As they began driving for the base proper, Phil just asked his driver bluntly, “you guys have been here longer than two years, haven’t you?”

Mills did not act like he was going to answer. As he brought his vehicle to a halt in front of a collection of small office like buildings, he did say, “I have no idea what you’re talking about, sir. Now I hope you enjoyed the ride, courtesy of the Royal Air Force.”

Phil put most of his questions, and his wonder, in the back of his mind as he got out and down to business. His small convoy of trucks were only the advanced party. They had a lot to do before the main body arrived and, given what he had now learned, that would be sooner as opposed to later. Phil also found that someone was beckoning his attention so, Conner turned over the details as quickly as he could too the Sergeant Major, and then greeted the guy who kept trying to waive him over to the sidewalk. Phil knew who the man was but, felt kind of surprised to see him here already. Phil exchanged salutes with, “Major Cross.”

“Major Conner,” David Cross replied as he gestured to the older, scruffy looking fellow beside him, “this is Sir Ian Balfour. Your C.O. told me to make introductions. As I understand it, your embassy has contracted with him to provision your troops.”

Phil brightened up and shook hands. When this Balfour guy spoke up, he had a quasi English accent but, it was far more gruff than Phil had ever heard before. Phil also had to ask the man, “what do I call you? Sir Ian? Sir Balfour?”

“How about just Ian,” Balfour replied with ease. “We’ll make sure you Yanks get everything you need for the time being. Course, I can’t help you with everything here at the field.”

That confused Phil and it did not seem to have that effect on David Cross. The guy just grunted and then told Phil, “follow me, please, Major.” They left Balfour behind and, as they walked to the front entrance of the building, just past the Flags of the United Kingdom and the Feyland Empire, a jet flew over. Phil stopped and cupped his hand over his eyes as he looked up. He recognized the aircraft even if he had not expected to see it, “was that really a Tornado fighter bomber? I thought they were retired?”

Cross replied, “yes they are except, here, they’re pretty much the most advanced aircraft you’re likely to find. The Fey’s are still flying around with prop driven aircraft.”

As they walked past the front door security, Phil noted, “I’m surprised you guys didn’t send any of your newer stuff.”

Cross waited by the front desk till a clerk finished making a badge for the American. As he did he told Phil, “why would we? All those planes work on GPS technology and here, Major, they don’t have anything like that. Welcome to the twentieth century.”

On the elevator ride, Phil mentioned, “seems kind of funny.”

Cross acted as if the topic was irrelevant but, he did manage to respond, “what does?”

“Well,” Phil tried acting humble even if he really did not feel that way, “back home the Elves can’t go five seconds without mentioning that their race is a lot older than ours. How is it we’re so much more advanced than they are?”

Cross did not seem to be as evasive as Mills had been but, then again, his answer did not really say that much either, “your guess is as good as mine, Major Conner. What’s the old saying, I only work here?”

The doors opened and Phil responded, “seems to be a lot of that going around, right now.”

When Phil was led into an office there appeared to be even more of it. Not only did Phil find his boss, Colonel Isaacs, he also found the base commander, an RAF Brigadier by the name of Chesterfield. They paid very little notice to the new arrivals, since the office was already full. Chesterfield seemed to be lecturing the American colonel, “yes, I was informed of your arrival and I am following my orders to the letter. I would think the problem is on your side Colonel Isaacs. When your country wished to deploy you, they should have asked us first.”

Bob held back his temper as he replied, “what do you mean ask you? The British Government has been in complete compliance. You guys were the one’s who asked us to come and play on your block, not the other way around.”

Chesterfield simply shook his head in resignation as he replied, “I do not mean the British Government and, for that matter, it was the Feyland Empire that requested your presence. It was not us, it was not the British Government.” The General then looked to the only elf in the room. She had been standing quietly till he addressed her by saying, “Major Ceascu, when the Emperor decided to invite the American’s in, did he not have a place to put them? This base is here strictly for the defense of the temple. I am not running a bed and breakfast.”

Despite her rank, Ceascu replied to the man as if he were an equal, “you will have to take that up with the board. I had nothing to do with it.”

Ten minutes later, Bob Isaacs and his men were walking out of the building. Bob was far from pleased as he told Phil, “how far back is the main body?”

“We had to leave early boss,” Conner replied, “the rain was coming down and building thirteen was talking all kinds of crazy shit. I had no idea what they meant but…”

Bob growled and raised a hand, “I understand.” Bob then looked up at the sky and said, “well at least we don’t have to worry about the rain here.”

Sergeant Major Price had been tagging along and observing for his boss, and he took this moment to state an observation, “no just the sweat.”

That led to an obvious question and Conner had to ask, “what exactly does rain look like here?”

“I suspect,” the Command Sergeant Major replied, “about like it does anywhere. That’s not our problem right now.”

Isaacs knew that all too well. He stopped and so did his group. He then bit his lip and thought about it. He then decided, “all right. When the column gets here we pitch shelter half’s for now.” Bob looked to the Sergeant Major, “when you get back to the General, do you think you could request some housing for us, you know, the inflatable kind?”

“I’ll see what I can do Colonel,” Price replied before he became a bit more reserved. When the Colonel asked him why, Price replied, “I wouldn’t expect that you’re going to be here all that long, anyhow. I’m not sure if it’s worth worrying about.”

Bob told his staff to take off and get to work. He also told Phil to stay behind and when they were alone enough, Bob had to ask, “is this an official notification, Lenny?”

Price had his arms crossed and he looked down at his feet as he pushed around pebbles with his toes. When he looked up he said, “no, it’s not. That’s why you can trust it.”

It was Phil who replied, “all right Sergeant Major, you certainly have my undivided attention.”

“General Garret,” Lenny began with, “told me, to let you know, to get your people as acclimated as possible. We got some SF types around here too. He’s going to put them at your disposal. Train your people up Bob, good and fast.”

So far, the Army had put them through all of the training it could devise in order to ready soldiers for this environment. Bob had been here a couple of times already, and he realized that it was far from enough. Even standing here in the peaceful court yard of an office building, it was hard to concentrate because this place was filled with distractions. The only way to truly acclimate soldiers was right here, in this world. Nothing on Earth could compare or be adequately simulated.

The real question was the one that Bob asked, “how long?”

“Six weeks,” Lenny then paused and added, “maybe. Hell I don’t know Bob, I still haven’t figured out how to tell time in this place. They got night and day just coming and going at random. You don’t like the weather just wait five minutes. Half the planet is a frozen block of ice and the other half is on fire. I wonder if anybody has figured out that we might very well, literally, be in hell here.”

That made Bob almost chuckle, “well now I know if the men will follow me into hell, one mystery solved.”

“Not the real one sir,” Conner added. “That elf back in Chesterfield’s office. What did she mean by the board? What board?”

“Yeah,” Bob nodded in appreciation, “you caught that did you? Something else I noticed too. Did you catch how Chesterfield kind of differentiated himself from the British Government?”

Conner nodded and replied, “I was wondering about that. I thought maybe I just heard him wrong or something. I mean the guy is wearing an RAF uniform but he acts like it’s not really any of his business.”

“You didn’t hear him wrong,” Bob replied as he looked to the Sergeant Major, “Lenny?”

“How the hell am I supposed to know,” Lenny said. “Sergeant Majors are only partially omnipotent. Between us and God we know everything and, on this matter, I’ll have to ask God.”