CHAPTER 1 

 It was a constant paper chasing exercise that Major General George Hammond wished he could pawn off on someone else.  There had been a time when he had a little weenie of an executive officer to handle most of this but the nature of his base made such assignments, considered luxuries, virtually non existent.  Not to mention it cut down on his ever constant battle for budget to keep the facility running.  They could not afford to spend too much money on Stargate Command or too many questions would be raised. The trade off was usually quite maddening.

The light rap at his opened door was an easy excuse to push the paperwork aside for the moment, “come on in Jack.”
 Hammond had an easy manner about him even when his blood pressure was acting up.  This was sometimes in contrast to Colonel Jack O’Neill, who always seemed uptight, and forever a smart ass, even when he was not trying to be.  Usually he was, “always a pleasure General.”

 As the Colonel sat down, Hammond clasped his hands and got right down to business, “the reason why I asked you down here Jack, was due to some strange signals we’ve been intercepting lately.”

 Jack wondered, thought it over, and hoped, “um, would that be from JPL, sir?  Maybe NASA?  You know that deep space teluh whatever stuff Carter is always going on about?”  Hammond might have actually been a lot easier going than the man he replaced, but Jack had always been more in tune with General West and his style.  So much so that Jack could even forgive West for spelling his name wrong on all the reports.

 Hammond could be down right cryptic till your head was already on the block and this time proved to be no exception. The Major General reached over and turned on the small FM radio sitting on his bookshelves.  The voice that filled the speakers was easily identifiable by both men.  This naturally led Jack to ask the question, “sir if I may?”

Crossing his arms Hammond nodded, “go ahead Colonel.”

 “How do you get reception on that thing twenty eight floors down beneath a mountain?”

Hammond’s expression did not change, “I’m not laughing Jack.”

The voice on the radio returned after the commercial.  It was quite stoic and sounded almost forced.  While it was deep and booming it came across rather flat, “this is T Man C and I am here to give you appropriate original opinions.” There was a strategic pause, “from a very different angle.”

In an irate kind of way Jack stood up and waved it off with one hand while his other was characteristically in his pocket, “oh come on General how was I supposed to stop him?” Hammond sat silently so Jack went on, “there’s no regulations against taking a second job.  I used to deliver pizza’s back when I was a Second Lieutenant.”

“Colonel,” Hammond was becoming more expressive, “there are no regulations about aliens taking second jobs because the idea was to keep the fact that there are aliens, a secret.  Now exactly how am I supposed to do that with Teal’c broadcasting to half the state of Colorado, everyday, on the radio?”

“Well General,” Jack replied, “you can’t really expect the guy to live off what the Air Force pays him.”

Hammond shrugged, “we don’t pay him anything.”

“Exactly my point,” Jack thought about it and figured it was as good a point as any he had at the moment, “sir.”

“Jack, in case you don’t remember, he wouldn’t take any.”

That sent Jack to mumbling, “well at the time I think he thought it was toilet paper or something like that.” Jack stopped mumbling and studied the look his superior officer was giving him, “well it isn’t very good toilet paper sir. Beats using rubels though, and pesos, I would never, ever, reco…”

“Jack,” Hammond said cutting him off.  “The point is this is a serious breach of security. Didn’t you or Teal’c even consider that?”

“I can assure you General,” Jack was trying to seem confident, “and I have to stress you know Teal’c. He would never, ever, divulge secrets of this command, even under pain of having his bonus withheld.”

Hammond had to comment, “Teal’c usually says under torture.”

“Oh yeah,” Jack waved it off, “in the entertainment business it’s the same thing.”

“Jack,” Hammond stood now but tried to remain calm, “I don’t like to pry in the personal business of my people but what exactly have you two been doing when you’re off? It’s not really like Teal’c to suddenly decide he needs to buy something.”

Once again Jack started mumbling but this time lower, “usually because he just kills somebody first but.. “ Jack put both hands in his pocket. He grumbled but loud enough to be heard this time “well Teal’c is kind of having this mid life jaffa crisis thing.”

That caused Hammond to collapse back in his chair with a sigh, “what is it this time Colonel?”

“Well you know,” Jack tried being as diplomatic as possible, “he’s horny.”

Hammond’s hand slapped his forehead, “oh boy.”

“Anyhow, to help, Daniel and I kind of took him to this bar one night and well…” Jack changed the subject, “anyway I don’t see how this could possibly be a breach of security.  It’s one of those call in, personal advice, dear abbey, kind of things.”
 

The General turned up the volume so the voice coming over it could be heard loud and clear. Teal’c was listening to a caller complain about his employer. The alien responded, “I too have once encountered similar problems with a former employer. Like you I was forced to wear his symbol and he expected unreasonable hours.”

The caller sounded generally pleased, “wow, what did you do?  What can I do?”

Teal’c went on, “first I must know if your employer, false employer I will call him, has access to personal shield defense capabilities.”

When Jack got a certain nasty look, from Hammond, the colonel could only shrug, “well you got to admit it’s a reasonable question to ask.”