Chapter 31


It was the spot. Barbara had spent a good deal of time, as she was growing up, on this very dune. She had gotten into the habit of coming here because of her dad. The reason he liked it was because of it’s unique geographical benefit in comparison with the rest of the beach. The north shore was called that name for a reason. The horizon you saw out at sea was mostly due north. That meant no real sunrises or sunsets. This spot was sitting on a little point that allowed you to face east and west. It only took a short little walk to get to either. Right now, since the sun was coming up, Barbara was facing east.

She did not spend a lot of time watching the sun come up over the surf and sand. Instead, she just kept looking at the empty patch of ground right next to her. He wasn’t there. He would never, ever, sit there again. Barbara had come to except that years ago or, at least, she thought she had. 

She remembered back to the day of the memorial service. There were three flags and not just one. There was no burial since no bodies were ever returned. Despite the fact that, on the same day, she had to say goodbye to her Father, brother, and husband, Barbara never shed a tear. She got the impression that some of the people at the service thought she was a cold, frigid, an unfeeling monster. Barbara just kept remembering what it really was. She was honoring, what in effect, was his last request.

Her father’s words kept echoing through her mind as they often did. Barbara remembered that day at Riggins when they all left for the war. Sometimes it felt like yesterday and, at others, it did not even feel real. Any way it went, what it always had felt like was crystal clear. Her father had formally turned the station over to her at a ceremony right in front of the main building. He had really turned it over to her when he got ready to board that shuttle. After he hugged Barbara, and then shouldered his bag, he then looked her in the eye and told her, “never let ‘em see you cry baby. Never.” Those were the last words he ever spoke to her.

Barbara looked at the spot in the sand once more. She thought about last night. Had that really been a drug induced dream? It seemed so real. Her father had sat right in that very spot and spoke with clarity and, well he said nothing Barbara would have ever thought he might say. Had she really seen a ghost, maybe coming back to try and help her? If anybody could have done that from beyond death, it would have been her Dad. Barbara was convinced of that.

She took a deep breath and held it. Then Barbara closed her eyes. She squinted so hard it almost hurt. She made a wish. Then when she opened them again she shrieked when someone really was sitting there! Barbara broke down into short pants and then she felt like slugging him, “would you please not do that!”

Jake was confused. He shrugged, offered her the coffee mug she always used, and then asked, “what? Bring your coffee? You left it back in Ops so I kind of figured you might want it before it got cold.”

Begrudgingly, Barbara took the mug and then went back to watching the sunrise. Jake just followed along with that course of action. He did not say a word. He watched while Barbara sipped at her coffee. Then, after some time, she finally said, “I guess I never did say thank you.”

“I already told you, you’re welcome,” Jake replied as he watched this planets star slowly rise. It looked a little different in color from what he was used too but, not that much. “So, you’re not getting another one out of me. At least not for this time.”
In a very proper manner, Barbara told him, “let’s hope there’s not going to be another one, Mister Barton.”

“Well you know what,” he stressed the name, “Barbara. How about let’s just do the whole thanking you thing by, say, you just call me Jake, and then I call it even.”

She looked at him very seriously for a minute. Then she actually broke out with a laugh before saying, “I don’t even know if I can.”

Jake only snickered to her laughter when he pointed out, “oh really? Well it may have slipped your memory but, you did call me Jake, once.”

Suddenly Barbara got defensive, “I don’t remember that.”

“Yeah, well, I do,” he replied. “It’s right before the, uh,” Jake made a swinging motion with his arm and stumbled around with his words as he did.

Barbara actually reached out with her hand and stopped his arm from doing that. Then she backed off and said, “I get the point, Mister Barton. I‘ll just take your word for it.”

“Fortunately,” Jake told her, “you missed that particular point but, yeah, I guess, that’s in the past now. We can move on.”

Barbara got a very astonished look when she asked him, “how do you do it Mister Barton?”
He just easily shrugged, “do what exactly?”

Barbara spelled it out, “considering everything that’s happened, everything that is happening, you just go right on like the only thing you have to worry about is figuring out which way to run in the morning.”

Again Jake shrugged, “oh hell I don’t know. I guess it really is that simple, at least, it is to me.”

“Well,” Barbara told him, “I hate to break the news to you Barton, but, it isn’t that simple. Nothing is ever that simple here.”

He actually took that in stride. He even laughed and Barbara took it as condescension even if it really did not sound that way. That was the really bad part about Barton. He never meant to be condescending, Barbara was sure the guy only ever meant to help but, given his experience, it could sure feel that way.

This time was no exception, “I hate to break the news to you Barbara but, I’ve been on more than my fair share of planets, and everybody always says that on every last one of them. Oh, and by the way, that also includes Earth.”

Barbara gave a very unconvincing, “I’ll take your word for it.”

They sat in silence for a little while longer. Then Jake broke it with pointing to her belly, “you know I hate to admit when Kent is right but, you really should get that looked at.”

“It’s just a scratch Barton,” she replied with a blow off.

“What about the rest of you,” Jake replied.

Moping, Barbara told him, “that spot on my rib isn’t even as bad as that.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about,” Jake told her resolutely.

She would not look at him. Barbara even seemed to draw up more into a ball than she was before. Then she told him with a bit of resolution, “I told you I’m fine. I’m more worried about Shannon. In case you forgot, somebody came into our home and tried to kill her last night.”

Jake looked at this woman in a befuddled way when he asked her, “is that what you think happened last night?”

She gave him an evil eye, “and you don’t?”

“Barbara,” Jake said with an uncommon seriousness, “Shannon wasn’t the target here. Whatever the kid knows, that made her of such interest to them, it’s got to be worthless at this point. Last night only proved that theory.”

“She’s seen their faces Barton,” Barbara replied. “She’s the only one who has and lived to tell about it. Even that Sally girl was blindfolded so she’s worthless,” and as Barbara thought about it she added, “and safe. They only drew me off so they could get at her.”

“No,” Jake told her. “in you case you didn’t notice, they tried to draw me and Norm in too.”

Barbara waved it off, “that was just collateral, no offense.”

Jake did not take it that way. He was thinking too professionally to do that right now, “sure they didn’t know who was going to show up looking for you but, they didn’t care. Barbara, it wasn’t JUST Shannon they were after. They were trying to take US out. That means all of us. They want the Rangers gone. What? You think they sent those guys right into the heart of our operations just to kill one fourteen year old girl? Barbara, they were there to kill anybody they found. If that damn ship hadn’t caught fire, we could have had a blood bath last night.”

“Yes Mister Barton,” Barbara replied, “I do realize the implications of all that. It’s why…” Barbara held her tongue. She looked down at her coffee, and then back to the sea. She felt a tear forming in her eye. She had to look away from Jake at that point.

Jake had to ask, “that’s why what?”

She was sniffling when she looked back. Barbara never could really make eye contact, “it’s why you get your wish.” She tried to end her statement with a positive sounding note but, it fell short. She just shrugged when she blurted it out, “I’m resigning Mister Barton. You can run this place anyway you want now. Does that make you happy?”

“Um,” Jake remained very serious, “no.”

“If you’re afraid you can’t,” Barbara replied. She realized she was being a little bit too obvious in her attempts at holding back her tears, “I am sure that Norm and Cal can help you as…”

“I’m not worried about me,” Jake said with a certain tone of hostility. He kept it as he continued, “I’m sure I can run this place just fine. They didn’t send me out here because I’m a lame ass.”

Another tear formed when she weakly asked, “then what are you worried about?”

“You,” he replied bluntly. Then he pointed at her, “and that little girl of yours and, well, everybody here for that matter. Not only do those kids need you Barbara, you need them too.” Jake added as an after thought, “and right now more than ever.”

Barbara sniffled and shook her head, “I can’t let my daughter live like this. I have to get her away from here and back to some kind of norma…”

Jake spit it out, “you sure this is about Shannon?”

Now Jake got the evil eye and no small amount of anger from Barbara, “my daughter always comes first Barton. When it’s between her and anything else, you can all go to hell.”

“I never said that wasn’t the case Barbara,” Jake told her remaining calm. Then he told her, “the problem here is that you’re too big of a bitch to admit that you’re human. Last night you needed help and now, for some reason, you’re taking that out on everybody else. Why don’t you just admit you were scared. Why don’t you just admit you’re still scared.”

“All right!” Barbara screamed in anger. “Is that what you want from me Jake! Do you want to me to just admit that deep down inside I’m terrified? OK, well wish granted! Are you happy now? I hope so because it doesn’t change a damn thing.”

As the tears rolled down her cheek, Barbara’s jaw still remained tight and her face red with anger. She locked eyes with Jake and then, suddenly, they both broke out in laughter. Barbara was even still crying as she did. As she pushed the tears back she told them, “Barton, I don’t think anybody since my father has… well, has seen me like I was last night.”

Jake went back to being easy and he mulled that one over. He then commented, “well I saw quite a few sides of you last night. How come I get the feeling that the one you’re talking about is vulnerability.” He then gave her a side glance, cracked a smile, and asked, “which since I now have that little secret of yours I hope that it might earn me at least some points with you.”

Barbara laughed but her tone was serious when she replied, “you want to know the truth? I hate your guts for it, to be honest.”

Jake only shrugged, “fair enough. I’ll take that.” Then he waited a minute and let her recompose herself, somewhat. Then Jake told her, “you can’t run away from this Barbara. The kind of people we’re dealing with here don’t let little things like, say, where you are, stop them.”

“OH,” Barbara sounded unconvinced, “and I suppose Mister Special Forces has a plan.”

Again, Jake only shrugged, “well not in so many words but, I do know this. When you get on the radar of people like the ones we’re dealing with, you only really got one plan left.”

“Oh, ok,” she was still unconvinced, “and that would be?”

Jake was dead serious when he told her, “you fight.”