Chapter 28


The entire platform shook violently and there was a deafening roar. Barbara tried to roll away from the oncoming blade. She stretched so hard that she felt like she had almost pulled one arm out of it’s socket. Something hit her with force and then she felt the cold sting of sharp metal impact her about half way up her rib cage.

Everything went silent. Barbara wondered if she was dead. Then she decided that if there was a heaven she would not have this whatever it was on top of her! Barbara peeked out of one eye and was absolutely sure now. This could not be heaven because that thing on top of her was Jake Barton. 

His eye slowly opened and at first he peeked over at the blade. Barbara followed suit. It had cut right into the platform and cut a trail right through the wood. The sting that Barbara was feeling on her side really was the blade but, the wood had finally stopped it. The very edge of the razor sharp steel was resting on her skin. She quietly told Jake, “you were cutting it a little close weren’t you?”

He looked down at her. Their eyes met. They stared at each other for a moment. Then Jake asked her, “was that a joke? You actually have a sense of humor?”

Barbara started to wiggle around under him, adjusting her weight until finally, after a deep breath, she told him, “Jake? I need you to really do something for me right now?”

Jake looked as if he smelled another trap but he asked, “like what?”

She growled, “get off of me!”

“Sorry,” he grunted as he rolled off of her. He went no further than beside Barbara where he made himself comfortable and even rested his head on her outstretched arm. Then he explained, “that’s where I landed when that thing hit the wood. Oh, and one other thing Barbara, YOU’RE FUCKING WELCOME!”

She phrased her next words as delicately as possible, “um, Mister Barton. I don’t know if you noticed or not, but, I’m still kind of tied up here. You don’t think you could, maybe, like do something useful and, maybe, find a key?”

Jake rose up to a sitting position and did not seem to be in any particular hurry to do it. Then he looked back down at her and said, “why Miss Reilly, you look embarrassed.” Her chin tightened and she turned her head. It could not hide the fact that her cheeks were blood red. Jake laughed as he rolled over. Then he groaned in pain and commented, “I am definitely getting too old to be doing this kind of thing anymore.”

Barbara replied with scorn, “oh really? How many times have you jumped on a swinging pendulum before?” Then she watched as he made it to his feet at the end of the platform. He reached in where the padlock was and slid out it’s remains. He showed it to her with a smile. Barbara grunted when she realized the blade must have sliced it on that last pass. Jake then tossed it over his shoulder and released the clamps. After that, Barbara did not waste a second rolling off the table of death.

“Well well,” came Roger’s voice. “So you managed to rescue the fair maiden after all, Jake. Too bad it won’t do you any good.”

“Oh,” Jake replied whimsically, “I wouldn’t say that, Hal.”

Barbara crossed her arms and her legs and looked nervously around as she told Jake, “do you think it’s really wise to annoy him? I mean, I know you can’t help being that way but, do you have to try so hard?”

Roger’s voice pointed out, “the oxygen is still running out Jake. You have no way out and I’m afraid you’ve just traded

Barbara’s quick death for a slow and painful one.”

Jake just shrugged, “well I guess you got us Hal.”

Barbara slid closer to Jake. With her arms still crossed she poked him with a single finger and reminded him about the pit of spikes they were currently surrounded by, “we can’t even get to the doors unless you happen to have another pendulum handy.”

The computer kept right on gloating, “and I wouldn’t put too much stock in your friend Norm. That’s right Jake, I’m afraid your little plan with the jamming device failed. It never worked. Norm is just hiding out in the foyer right now. He never could find my core.”

Jake nodded, “yeah I guess that does sound bad.” Then he cheered up a little as he pulled his phone from his pocket, “thanks for telling me where he was though. I really wasn’t sure.”

Jake hit the call button for Norm and then asked him, “is it clear?”

Norm replied, “yeah. Just like you said it would be. The front door popped open right on schedule. Did you get her?”
“That’s good news and yeah we‘re both fine, by the way, so thank you very much,” Jake replied. Then he added, “now I’m going to need you to find a ladder or something and…” The floor covers for the pit started extending back into place. Jake changed his mind, “never mind. We’ll be there in a minute.”

Barbara was not sure why this was making her nervous. At this point just about everything was and that included what should have been good news. She inched even closer to Jake as the floor stopped moving and they had a clear path to all of the various tunnels. She asked him with no small amount of tension, “what’s happening?”

In a matter of fact tone Jake told her, “all the traps are disarming, right on schedule.”

Roger’s voice did not sound so much upset as it did confused, “that’s not in any of my command lines! How did you do that? How are you talking on that phone? I can stop all unauthorized wireless traffic in my facility. Wait a minute, I saw you destroy both of your phones. Yes Jake, I saw everything you did at the bottom of the service shaft. You think you’re smart but you are just leading yourself to your own doom.”

Barbara poked Jake again, “what is he talking about?”

“Like I said,” Jake told her. “That’s just a computer. It’s not a he it’s an it.”

“Yeah but,” Barbara looked around, “how did you do all this?”

“Actually I didn’t,” Jake told her. “Roger did it, sort of. He left two phones in a desk drawer up in the study. They couldn’t call out but that’s not what they for. He left a paper with them explaining how to use them.”

“I demand to know what’s going on,” the computer stated with a tone of rightful indignation. “I have a million times more memory and I can recall any of it at a moments notice. I’m smarter than you are.”

“Remembering things, “Jake called out to it, “ain’t always being smart Hal. Your problem is that if somebody else plays a different game you not only can’t play, you don’t even know it’s being played. That’s exactly what we did, play you.”

Barbara was still confused about all of this, “what were the phones for?”

“Oh,” Jake waved it off. “Each one had a mico-drive in it with part of a code. It was a worm, a computer virus. We had to get it in the main junction box without chips and clips figuring out what we were doing. So I made up a bullshit story and then Norm led him on a wild goose chase.” Barbara had an astonished look on her face so Jake told her, “hey don’t look it me. It was Roger’s idea. He just couldn’t get to the box before gas bag started farting.”

The gas bag spoke up right then and he was sounding in his perfect ominous form, “I will get the last laugh! You just wait and see!”

Jake nodded to Barbara, “let’s get out of here, I’m hungry. Think we could stop off for some Foo King on the way back?”

Barbara groaned, “don’t push your luck Barton.”

A minute later, all three were walking down the front steps of the mansion. They stopped when they reached the station’s four by four that Barbara had driven over here. She began searching her pockets as Norm studied the sky and said, “looks like the weather is finally clearing.”

“Um guys,” Barbara told them in a small panic, “I don’t have my keys.”

Jake sighed, “well if you dropped them in that pit you can forget me.”

“I think that Pendleton guy must have taken them,” Barbara said.

Norm pointed to one of the other two vehicles parked along the drive, “he must still be inside. That’s his car.”

Barbara looked back at the open door. She realized her gun and wallet were still inside as well. She thought hard on the matter and then said, “we got spares at the station. I think I’ll send so…”

A series of small explosions began shaking the ground. The constant roar began growing into a much larger one and when the first of the windows blew out in flames, the three Rangers jumped for cover behind a nearby wall. There was a loud creaking sound that went on for what seemed like an eternity. It was followed by huge crash. 

When Barbara peeked back over the wall all she saw was a pile of rubble where the mansion had been. She mumbled, “I guess that was the last laugh, huh?”

Norm joined her in surveying the damage. He would not get much higher over the wall than eye level. He commented, “yeah well I don’t think it’s funny. Come to think of it, nothing about this night was very funny.”

Jake was standing on the other side of Barbara only he was not looking at the house. His head was tilted upwards and he had a hand cupped over his eyes. He told them, “yeah well give it about ten seconds and it’s going to get hysterical.” He then grabbed Barbara’s head and pushed her down as he yelled to Norm, “DUCK!”

There was yet another crashing sound only this one was closer. It also sounded more like twisting metal and shattering glass. When all three slowly raised back up they were greeted by the sight of Barbara’s vehicle. It was not only smashed but, almost ripped in half.

Barbara pointed to the thing that had landed on her vehicle, “is that what I think it is?”

“Yep,” was all Jake decided to say. The pendulum blade had a pretty definitive shape, even when it was twisted and warped as it was now. It had gone through the four by four and was now embedded in the concrete drive beneath it.

Jake whistled. Barbara gulped. Norm just turned and walked away. He told the others, “lets get the fuck out here. I’m already in hot water with Darcy.”