CHAPTER 3

Sometimes she had to wonder if this place was an amusement ride instead of a car wash. She sat behind the control room counter and flipped the switches, slapped the big red button, and all of the other things that a good little monkey did. Then she watched as the magnetic conveyor system would pull another car into the tunnel that was filled with big rollers, jets of water, and finally the wax. Like that was not enough, it also gave you a laser show on the front windshield of your car. If that was not enough then it was also enhanced by the flashing light show, and spinning crystal globe that just added the ‘y’ to the word tack. This was accompanied by some god awful music which might not have been so bad if you were here just long enough to get your car washed. She had to listen to it all damn day!

The next car slowly came into view of her window and, like all the others, it was covered in foam and other assorted chemicals that probably gave you cancer as well a shine. This car was different though. She recognized it because she had driven it around for a day. She became quite alarmed at the sight of it and actually lifted up off her stool, wondering if she might need to take off early. As she found out, it was already too late. One of the guys was walking towards her, down the narrow little corridor that was barely enough for one person to stand in. A second guy was coming at her from the only other direction she could take. She groaned in frustration and just sat back down.

They both had big smiles on their faces as they sat down on each side of her and pinned her in. Then, the cute one told her, “well if it ain’t Betsy “Foo King” Ross.”

The other guy with the kind of nasally voice said, “yeah, do you take plastic here or is it deutschmarks only? Like at the gym?”

Betsy grunted in frustration, “come on guys. You know what that was all about.” She then sneered at the one she thought was called Garcia, “and the name is Fry, not Ross.”

Garcia acted amused and he looked to Bob Johnson who only nodded back. Garcia then said, “yeah well, I figured it might really be Ross, since you’re some big tough American from Earth.”

Betsy slapped her forehead, “oh god, you guys didn’t.”

“Sure did,” Bob replied with a big smile. He held up his phone and showed her a picture. It was obviously taken this morning when she had just left formation in front her barracks, over at the US Consulate. She was wearing her duty greens which meant they knew her real job. She pouted, “are you guys trying to get me fired from here?” In horror she added as an afterthought, “and arrested?”

“Seems to me,” Garcia replied, “you got plenty of jobs to fall back on little lady.”

Bob was very hostile when he pointed at her and exclaimed, “not to mention I want my clothes back. They weren’t in the car!”

Betsy looked confused and had to ask, “which car?”

Bob now pointed at himself but remained just as furious, “my car!”

Betsy slapped her forehead again, “I was never in your car dumb ass.” She then pointed to the station vehicle that just went through the wash, “it’s in that one.”

Bob deflated and was confused, “oh. Sorry. Jake must have got that wrong.”

“Which don’t matter none,” Garcia got back to the point, “cause we ain’t too happy with him nether.”

Betsy nervously looked down at the door and wondered if her boss might show up. After all, their car was most likely out the other side of the car wash by now. Somebody was going to notice it was empty and come asking around. Betsy relented with a grunt, “ok, ok, guys! You obviously want something. What is it?”

Garcia was savoring the moment, “hey little darling, who says we want anything but a good case of old fashioned revenge.”

Betsy gave him an ‘eat shit’ look and then spelled it out, “um, maybe because I’m not already in handcuffs and I still have my clothes on?”

In triumph, Garcia held out his open palm, for Bob, and gleefully announced, “told you she was freaky, now pay up.”

“No way,” Bob waived the notion off and then added, “that’s not what she meant and you know it.”

“Guys!” Exclaimed Betsy with gritted teeth. “Do you mind? This might be my second job but, I also need it.”

“Fair enough,” Garcia turned on his smooth, “we want to know about you and Jake.”

Bob added, “yeah, everything.”

The girl seemed genuinely confused, “why don’t you just ask him? He’s your boss.”

“Cause we asking you,” Garcia replied.

Bob also added, again, “and we’re the ones with the pictures of you, security footage, and a few other things all sitting in an email addressed to the US Consulate.”

Betsy huffed, “guys, that could get me dishonorably discharged.”

“Should have thought of that before you decided to impede the lawful duties of a foreign government,” Garcia told her. He was very proud of himself, “not to mention, I suppose, I could even arrest you for that. Not going too, cause I think the Americans would do a much better job of it.”

Betsy sneered, “fine.”

Bob smiled and said, “when a woman says that it usually means she’s pissed.” Everybody looked at him strangely and he began to back pedal and then explained, “I’m married. I know that kind of stuff.”

Garcia shook his head in resignation and then told Betsy, “I suppose it’s true.” Then he smiled at Betsy and said, “by the way, like I told you when we were at the Foo King, I’m not married.”

Outside the car wash, Danni stood by the car and watched as Garcia and Bob walked across the parking lot. The government car was now actually clean for the first time in a while and Danni wondered if they would even recognize it. They were oblivious for a lot of reasons and, Danni supposed, it had something to with them laughing to each other. They were definitely in good spirits and she felt relieved. This was the first time that she had seen anyone in that kind of mood since she got home. She tossed Garcia the keys as he walked up and she asked, “well? How did it go?”

“How’s it look,” Garcia replied with a huge grin.

Bob went from a smile to a confused grimace, “he got her phone number.”

Danni just moaned as she slipped in the back seat, “please, do not tell me you are that stupid. After what she did to you guys?”

As Bob put his seat belt on he became defensive again, “don’t look at me. I’m married.”

Garcia rolled his eyes as he put the keys in the ignition, “that seems to be his universal defense today.” Garcia turned the key and instead of hearing the engine roar to life, he heard a much greater force that made the entire car shake. Something like an invisible hand hit the front grill and the entire car rocked back. As Garcia’s body snapped back and then forward he mumbled to himself, “please tell me I didn’t do that.”

A giant metal object that was twisted, blackened, and smoldering landed on the hood of the four by four. It was heavy enough, and going fast enough, to crumple the hood and smash into the engine block beneath it. The windshield cracked and everyone inside the car screamed for dear life. When they finally stopped and caught their breath, Garcia asked his two companions, “ok, when we tell this story, the screaming part gets left out, right?”

Bob’s voice squeaked, “fine by me.”

Danni gulped, “no arguments here.”

It was Bob who leaned forward and looked at the metal, “what the hell is that?”

Danni thought about the more practical implications, “I’m not staying in this car another minute.” She wasted no time getting out and then did not stop till she cleared the parking lot, like the few extra feet would actually make a difference for her safety.

Garcia got out and walked to the front of the vehicle to examine what used to be the hood of the car. Then he looked back to the other side of the car wash where thick black smoke was floating away in the breeze. There was an arid smell in the air that was also filled with the sounds of screams and car alarms.

Bob joined him and just pointed from the smoke to the thing that crushed their hood. He was still in shock, “that could of hit us? What the hell is that?”

“Looks like,” Garcia thought about it a second more and then offered up, “I’d say, what’s left of a transmission.”

Finally Danni came back over and joined them. She was fidgeting around and could not stand still, “guys, shouldn’t we do something?”

Bob took the suggestion and said, “yeah, like call a cab and go back to the office?”

That drew a nasty look from Garcia who then told him, “don’t tell me. You’re married, right?” He then took a deep breath and nodded to the smoke, “Danni’s right. Let’s go see if anybody’s hurt.”