CHAPTER 28
“I never,” Danni exclaimed from her broken roller chair, “thought I would miss humidity the way I do right now.” Danni was practically beaming and she could not stop holding Amy's hand when she did.
Calvin had his little cooler on the console in ops. Normally that was a big no-no if Barbara saw it but, she had been less than observant since she got home and, it had been raining off and on, so, ops it was. He reached in and grabbed a beer before responding to Danni's remark. He was looking at Amy when he said, “I don't know Danni, I heard it was a dry heat up there.”
Amy gave a very forced smile and wrinkled her nose as she said, “fuck you very much, Calvin Brandt. I don't find that funny.”
Leslie was sitting entirely on the console, something that was as big a no-can-do as was Cal's beer. Her small frame was so much so that she could actually fit and, also, no one worried about the counter falling off as a result. She also had the ability to bend herself into the most ungodly looking positions and they made Cal's back hurt, every time he saw her doing it. This time, he just drank beer to fight the pain.
From her perch, Leslie told Amy, “Gee Red, I don't know. If what they tell me is true, we got us another genuine hero here.”
Amy blushed, shrugged, and glumly said, “Jake stood up for us. That's true.”
Danni became very expressive, looked around to see who was listening, lowered her voice as she leaned forward and said, “you guys have not seen him fight. Word of warning, the next time he challenges somebody to knock him out, just keep quiet.”
“As I recall Nguyen,” Leslie continued, “the last time he did that, everybody was too chicken shit too try, anyway. I'm not talking about Jake.” Leslie raised her beer as if toasting and said, “I'm talking about our little Miss Hiller over here. My personal hero who pulled me out of the drink, now decided her heroics must cover all the elements and now has both fire and water under her belt.”
“Shut up Leslie,” was all Amy had to say to that. She was not very nice about it either.
Calvin raised his beer, “she's right Amy. That was a gutsy move. I'm not sure I'd have been able to do what you did.” He sounded a lot more sincere than Leslie and Amy actually managed the courage to look Cal in the eye and nod. Then Calvin proceeded with, “can't wait till Tony gets in and hears about this one. That's going to be...” Cal's head flew forward and it came back up only after he started nursing the back of it. He then snapped at Leslie, “what the hell?”
Leslie pulled her hand back that she had used to slap Calvin and developed a quaint little smile before saying, “I heard Idhirti might be sitting in on comwatch a little more often Cal. Did you suggest that to Barbara? You know, to take the pressure off,” she hesitated and then followed up with, “the rest of us?”
Cal became indignant and resolute, “afraid I don't know what you're talking about.”
Leslie replied, “makes me wonder what would happen if I handcuffed you to a boat more often.”
Danni spit the soda out of her mouth before she almost fell out of the chair and then said, “you what? Oh my god, I have not heard this one. What the?”
Amy turned even more pale than usual, put her hands over her lips, looked away and then mumbled, “bout damn time that happened to somebody else.”
Cal went on the offensive, “it is not what she says. The Germans were the ones who... then Leslie did this bendy thing, then she wanted to drive and,” Cal grunted, retreated, and then pouted out, “I'm not saying another word.”
As Jake came strolling in ops, he remarked on the heel's of Calvin's comment, “if I actually believed that then I'd say I arrived just in the nick of time.”
“Really Jake?” Leslie said as she stuck out a knuckle, “I hear that's your specialty these days.”
“Beer,” Jake told Calvin before knocking knuckles with Leslie, “yeah and I hear yours is burning down thrift stores. Where's Calvin's going to get his wardrobe now?”
Cal grunted as he handed over a Longhorn, “do you really want this beer Jake?”
“I was kidding,” Jake told him.
“I wasn't,” Calvin replied and then pointed, “you already got coffee in one hand.”
Leslie slapped Calvin again, “it's not for him dumb ass.” Then Leslie bounced her head as she pointed to the back hall.
Jake found Barbara right where Leslie insinuated she would be. Of course, she was doing something that Jake had not really expected. She was sitting behind the new desk, in the new desk chair. She was actually smiling and patting the arm rests, looking as if she was trying out positions of comfort in the chair. Jake sat the coffee down in front of her and suspiciously asked, “I take it you're starting to actually approve of my new office, now that it's almost finished.”
“Actually Barton,” Barbara had an edge of smugness in her voice as she told him, “I was admiring my new office.”
“Really?” Jake asked, still suspicious.
“You should be happy,” Barbara told him in a pleasant tone, “you see I've thought about some of the things you said, and I agree.”
“Yeah I guess I should,” Jake admitted, “only in this case you are agreeing me right out of my office.”
Barbara remained pleasant, “how are the cuts?”
“What?” Jake shrugged, “you mean the ones I got up in Toon Town or the ones you keep giving me?”
Barbara kept right on smiling, “both I guess. Hard to say which one of us enjoys it more.”
Jake got gruff, “are you still mad cause I went up there to help the Sheriff. Cause as I recall, if I hadn't....”
“Then Amy and Danni might not have almost missed a celebrity roast?,” Replied Barbara rhetorically.
“They're fine,” Jake snapped, “and from the looks of it, maybe they've finally made up because of all this. Now the rest of us can get some peace.”
That much did drop Barbara's smile but, it was replaced with something much worse, which happened to be one of those 'mere' man looks. While giving it, Barbara picked her words carefully and said, “oh trust me Barton. That is far from over with. The fact is, if you had stayed here and directed your end of things, neither one would have turned into a total pooch screw. No, you had to go camping and have a bonfire instead.”
“Look Barbara,” Jake said quite firmly, “me and Norm realized that...”
Barbara held up a hand and replied, “I know. He told me but, the fact is, neither one of you bothered to ask me.”
Jake's voice was getting louder and gruffer, “is that what this is about? I don't have time to ask you about every little detail. Sometimes we have to improvise.”
Barbara got out of her chair and put her fists on the desk as she stated firmly, “like turning my daughter into an accomplished liar?”
“What?” Jake blinked at that and then replied, “first off you knew what she was doing. She asked you and not us. The second, she was already good at that long before she ever met me.”
“You know Barton,” Barbara's nostrils flared as she replied, “I'm going to resist the urge to hit you right now, because I do happen to know that's true. It doesn't matter because it's not the point. I'm not going to let you ruin her life like you did that little American girl, Betsy.”
“I didn't ruin her life,” Jake growled. “If the Bobsy twins hadn't went over to that car wash and tried to put the screws to her that day, Betsy's cover would still be intact. As it was, the second I knew she was at that bombing, I knew whatever little cover she had was blown.”
“Cover?” Barbara showed that she could not believe what she was hearing, “she should have never had one Barton! She was a little girl and you manipulated her into spying on her own side.”
“It was not like that,” Jake said, explaining that, “it's not like I was going to ask that girl to crawl out of a vent and steal the secret formula to some soft drink. All she had to do was let me know, every now and then, who was coming and going around the consulate. That's all. She didn't have to break any laws, sneak around, or dress up like she was on some celebrity dance show.”
Barbara blinked, “celeb... what the hell does that even mean? Look Barton, what it comes down too is, you ruined someones life because you wanted to know what time of day that Charles Whitman goes to the bathroom. Naturally, I have to ask myself who else you're twisting to your will.”
Jake was very loud as he said, “like who?”
“Well,” Barbara said with a cute little smile, “if you want to go there. Let's talk about your little reporter friend and, unlike with Betsy, I don't just suspect you're screwing her.”
“Ok Barbara,” Jake said seriously, “I think we both racked enough points here, do we start hitting now?”
The knock on the door was meek but, audible. Leslie was not quite as meek as her knock but, she was still reserved as she told them, “you know guys. I once suggested that you two should get a room but, I have to admit that this is not, quite, what I had in mind.”
Barbara hissed and then said, “what is it Leslie?”
The girl did not shrink. Instead she pointed back down the hall and said, “you know, they're too afraid to come down here and tell you guys this but, I kind of figured somebody should. We can hear you all the way down in ops. You know, unless that's what you guys want and I'm not saying that's the case here but, then just maybe, you should take this someplace else.” When she got no reply, Leslie took a sip of her beer, turned, and as she retreated she left them with a parting thought, “just saying.”
Silence remained. After a little time passed, Jake deflated and said, “that girl is going to be a serious pain in the ass.”
Barbara followed right on his comment as she deflated and said, “oh god, tell me about it.” Then Barbara shrugged and said, “but Norm likes her.”
“She's right,” Jake said in a matter of fact way. When Barbara said nothing he suggested, “it stopped raining. Back out to the dunes?”
Barbara perked up, “good idea, let's go.”
THE END
Days as a Schizophrenic (Poem)
Decant
It's Hurting Again
